So last Monday I talked about how things change when you become a parent in Momnesia Mondays: Yesterday Part I, and no matter how much we love our lives as parents there will always be a part of us that will look at the past and look at the future with memories or dreams. I don’t feel guilty for missing things in my past because that’s what we do as nostalgic people. I know I love my girls and I wouldn’t trade my life for anything.
It was great to see everyone commenting on the post last week and on Facebook and know that it’s not just me. Here are some of the things you said:“I can’t remember the last time my husband and I went on an actual date. We swore we would be the parents who took that time for ourselves, but being a military family with no one around who will watch our toddler makes that difficult.”
“I miss sleep. The dead sleep of knowing that whatever noise, squeek, crack, in the house has absolutely no bearing on you and that you can shut off your hearing completely and ignore the world until the alarm goes off.”
“Being able to eat without extra fingers picking at my plate.”
“I forgot…having a sick day. When you desperately need it…don’t remember what that’s like.”
And now, for the much awaited continuation of my Yesterday list: (ps I wrote these all down before any of you had commented last week and found a lot of them to be similar…does that tell you anything?)
NAPS- When I was a child I hated napping, until I got a little older I started to appreciate them, then in college and during summers of going clubbing naps became my best friend, I loved sleep and sleep loved me. After I graduated, after I married, on my days off or weekends (the thing that non-parents call Saturday and Sunday), sleep and I would hold hands till the sun was high in the sky. Is it sad when I daydream about napping?? Often?? Even the days of napping when the baby naps are out of question now that Miss A dropped her naps, see post below: Elusive Naps. But I think perhaps someday, when the girls are older I may get more naps in and will once again be reunited with my long-lost friend, sleep.
OUTSIDE THE HOME JOBS(for SAHP) – Don’t get me wrong, I love going to “work” in my pajamas, being able to eat on the job, being silly, going to play dates, and being able to run errands, all things I could NOT do at any of my pre-stay-at-home-mom jobs, however I do miss: 1. Leaving the house, there are often days where I don’t even get to smell fresh air from outside, I don’t know the temperature, much less what’s going on in the world outside me. 2. Getting ready for work, I feel like I get more things accomplished when I’m, “up-and-at-’em” 3. Work rewards, they’re so different from home rewards, personally I had jobs that I could complete and they were done, but at home it’s a never ending cycle of dishes, laundry, vacuuming, cleaning, dishes, laundry, vacuuming….you catch my drift? and lasty 4. The pay, I don’t come home with a pay check, I’m not contributing to our bank account by being a mom, and it makes me feel even worse when I want to spend money on myself.
(As a sidenote that my stay-at-home rewards of hugs, kisses, giggles, and not missing out on the milestones is a lot better than cash and my sense of accomplishment comes from seeing my girls turn into God-loving, polite, silly, smart, fun little girls and that beats everything.)
ADULT ANYTHING– whether it’s music, movies, restaurants, magazines, books, iPod apps, living spaces, it seems like my entire life is being taken over by toys, Barney, and the kids menu! I know someday I’ll be missing these things but for now, I just want a living room that doesn’t look like a Toy Emporium!
DATES– Now I don’t know if I quite remember what the definition of a date is since I haven’t, well, been on one since….May 2009!! No kidding!! At least not a date outside our home without the children. Hubby and I used to have our weekly dates when I was nannying and even had fun dates when we were married, or at least got out of the house and did something, but now our dates consist of Blockbuster movies, blogging on the couch on our own individual blogs…while sitting next to each other, or trying to figure out distractions for Miss A while she’s eating so we can catch up on our days with minimal (yeah right!) interruptions…oh Dates, promise you’ll come back to us in 2011???? Promise???
So that’s all folks, not like you needed two posts about this topic, but maybe I just had to get it off my chest…if nothing else I hope it makes you realize that it’s okay to miss things of the past while enjoying your current life.
If you didn’t answer before, or if you have more to add, what do you miss about life B.C. (before children)?