Tag - 5 love languages

Pouring Into Our Children

If you’ve read any of my Love Languages blog posts you know that we all give and receive love in unique ways. Our children are no different. While you may feel loved and love by giving hugs (physical touch), your child may feel cared about more with kind words.

It’s important to pour into our children on a daily basis. While some days are easier than others the end result of them knowing you are on their side even when it feels like no one else is, is totally worth it.

Lately I’ve been reading “Love and Logic“, by Foster Cline, while it’s not a new book by any means it has some pretty relevant parenting tips. The more I read and hear people speak on the topic of parenting, the more I realize we only have these children in our care for 18 years. Then, most of them are out on their own, becoming their own people, and hopefully including us in their “grown-up” lives.

There are so many ways to let our children know we love them and support them, while also allowing them to learn life lessons and grow.

Here are a few ways (with love language guidance) you can show your children how much you care:

Words of Affirmation

Handwritten notes may come to mind as a way to express how we feel with words. To make notes a little more fun try to place them in areas that will surprise your children, tuck a sweet note in their shoe, or leave a thoughtful card in their backpack.

Physical Touch

Warm hugs can make any child melt if done at the right time and place. Be mindful of when you think your child may need a little extra TLC. Physical touch can be holding a hand, rubbing their back, or even playing with their hair.

Acts of Service

While it’s true a lot of parents are always showing their love through “acts of service”, folding laundry, picking up toys, but these things may go unnoticed, so try to think out of the box. What tasks do your children do for themselves that they might enjoy not doing once and a while? If your child packs their lunch, but doesn’t love it, why not make them an extra special one?! Bring the trash cans back to the house without them noticing, an act of service can be a delightful surprise. {This is not to say we should take over chores for our kids, but occasionally it can be seen by them as an act of love.}

Quality Time

Spending time doing homework or running errands with your child is time, but doesn’t quite quite qualify as “quality time”. Sorry parents!! If your child enjoys surprises, by all means, choose an activity that you can do together and surprise them after school or on a weekend. On the other hand, if your child is more of a planner, sit down with them and plan something fun to do together, this will double the quality time in both planning and doing.

 

Gifts

If you’ve read my blog post on gifts you’ll know the present doesn’t have to be extravagant, just thoughtful. It’s a really great idea to write down things that you’ve heard your child mention they really like, for example, if they say they really like pink roses, take note for a future day. If they are frustrated because their favorite markers are running low on ink, grab them a new pack and surprise them.

 

The only way we can truly pour into our children, no matter what Love Language they may have, is to invest in them. Your child doesn’t need to be your whole world, in fact they really shouldn’t be, {that’s another blog post}, however, just as with any relationship, you have to put time, effort, and care into it for it to flourish.

 

For those of you who read my blog, but aren’t parents or around children on a daily basis, can I encourage you to reach out to youth? You may not realize it, but you have so much to offer the next generations. Volunteer, find a neighbor, there are so many children who would benefit from your time, trust me.

What are you going to do to pour into your child(ren)??

Exploring Love Languages – Words of Affirmation

 

“Words can build you up,
Words can break you down,
Start a fire in your heart or
Put it out.”

 

These are some of the lyrics of the song Words by Hawk Nelson. This has been true since the beginning of the spoken word, even as children we proclaimed in a sing-songy voice “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. We sang this not because it was true, but as a chant to ward off the pain that some harsh words can bring.

Though everyone is impacted in some way by words, there are some of us that give words great value. This means that discouraging or hurtful words feel even more sharp, and words of praise and encouragement mean the world to us. If it isn’t obvious by the way I’m describing this Love Language, Words of Affirmation is the number one way I feel loved.

 

 

Welcome to another installment of the Exploring Love Languages series on MommyB Knows Best. If you still haven’t read the  or taken your 5 Love Languages test (or test your family/friends) I strongly encourage you to check it out Exploring Love Languages and How to Show Them post.

If you know your love language(s) that will help you understand how you most like to be loved and also be a good determining factor in how you typically show love. Showing love to others is great no matter what way you choose to show it but in some instances love is received best using the love language of those we pour our love into. If we really care, I believe it’s important to get to know not only their personality but their love language as well.

Let’s dive into yet another love language and learn together. Each love language is so unique and I’d love your help, if you fit in the current category or know some great ways to show love using this love language won’t you please leave a comment with some advice?

 

To someone who doesn’t share this Love Language here are some ways to express love to people who value Words of Affirmation:

Use high value words

The words love, grateful, appreciate, proud, special, needed, best are some great words to focus on when speaking with someone who likes Words of Affirmation. Can you think of any others?

Compliment them

Pick something you really like about that person and tell them, it may not come easy to compliment, but will mean the world to them. Also, the more personal and specific you can get the better. Try to compliment them in an area that you know they work especially hard in. For example, if they volunteer a lot it’s likely that’s something they love and will be honored that you think enough to mention it.

Write it down

Words of Affirmation don’t have to be spoken words, they can also be written, whether it’s in a card, text, or a short note these words will be appreciated.

Reader Megan H says, “Words is not my love language but I speak words very well as words is one of my husbands love languages and also my daughters. Simple text each day to say you love them or are thinking of them are great. Also lovers of words like cards and simple notes too.”

As with all Love Languages there are several ways to show love in the way a specific person feels it. These are just a few ways to get you started. Do you have any advice on how to love (or how not to love) a person whose love language is Words of Affirmation?? Share in the comments below and if this is your love language be sure to share this post with others.

Exploring Love Languages – Quality Time

Welcome to another installment of the Exploring Love Languages series on MommyB Knows Best. If you still haven’t read the first post or taken your 5 Love Languages test (or test your family/friends) I strongly encourage you to check it out Exploring Love Languages and How to Show Them post.

If you know your love language(s) that will help you understand how you most like to be loved and also be a good determining factor in how you typically show love. Showing love to others is great no matter what way you choose to show it but in some instances love is received best using the love language of those we pour our love into. If we really care, I believe it’s important to get to know not only their personality but their love language as well.

Join me as we dive into another love language and learn together. Each love language is so unique and I’d love your help, if you fit in the current category or know some great ways to show love using this love language won’t you please leave a comment with some advice?

 

Let’s get started with The 5 Love Languages – Quality Time

 

Quality time is often hard to come by, especially if you consider having to split that time with spouses/significant others, children, friends, extended family. Bit by bit there seems to not be enough time in the day, however if your love language is quality time it’s important to create opportunities to feed this love language.

I personally enjoy quality time though it’s not one of my top love languages, however there are several people near and dear to my heart who hold quality time above other love languages. Here are some tips for getting quality time with those you love. Please feel free to add your ideas in the comment box below as well.

 

Give someone total attention

For a person with quality time as their love language they want your full attention, now that doesn’t mean you have to stare them straight in the eye for hours on end, however it does mean that you make frequent eye contact, be a good listener, and show them you are enjoying time with them.

Do something they love

Sometimes we need to step outside our own interests and hobbies and plan quality time based on what the one you love likes to do. If you’re not sure, do some detective work, check out their Pinterest board, listen to what they talk most about, ask their friends/family. It’s especially thoughtful when that person realizes all you did to find out what they love.

Make an effort

Whether your loved one lives close by or is long distance it’s important to make an effort to spend time with them. While quality time can be a little easier if the person lives close enough to physically be together, this may not always be the case. If you are however miles apart, this means taking occasional trips to visit, making time to talk on the phone to catch up, and with the ease of technology video chatting.

Ok friends, tell me, what are your thoughts? Do you have any advice on how to love (or how not to love) a person whose love language is Quality Time?? Share in the comments below and if you feel loved with quality time be sure to share this post with others!

 

Exploring Love Languages – Gifts

Welcome to the Exploring Love Languages series on MommyB Knows Best! If you didn’t get a chance to read the first post or take your 5 Love Languages test (or test your family/friends) head back to the Exploring Love Languages and How to Show Them post to do that now.

If you know your love language that’s great, that will tell you how you most like to be loved and probably be a good indicator of how you typically love others. While I think loving others is great no matter how you do it, you may find that sometimes when you show love it’s not received in a way you might think, of course this could be the product of many factors, but one thing I’ve found is that my way of loving others may not be their preferred way. While we don’t need to “change” everything we do for others isn’t it nice to meet them where they are, especially our family members/children?

I thought it would be great to explore some love languages and gain some insight so we can all love a little better. As my love languages don’t fit every love language, I’ll need your help, if you fit in the current category or know some great ways to show love in this category won’t you please leave a comment with some tips and ideas too? We’re all in this together.

 

Let’s get started with The 5 Love Languages – Receiving Gifts.

 

 

Occasionally I’ll hear that the receiving gifts love language is a greedy one, when in reality I think each love language is valid and important. I’ve been told by several “gifts” friends and family that it doesn’t matter the size or price point of the gift, rather that someone took the time to think of them enough to give a gift.

Here are some gift ideas from across the board, some are free and others are thoughtful and I would love to hear your ideas in the comment section below!!

 

Personalized gifts – Nothing says “this gift is specifically for you” like a personalized gift. Think about something that the recipient will love like a tote bag or a journal and get their name or initials on it. Every time they see or use that item they’ll think of you, it’s a win-win.

We bought this great Summer tote from Simply Personalized for Miss A, and she loves that it has her name written in one of her favorite colors. There are a lot of great websites that will personalize almost any kind of gift.

 

Handmade gifts – This is where you will definitely want to know your recipient, some LOVE receiving handmade gifts and feel they’re from the heart, others will be disappointed thinking you don’t really know them all that well. Hayley M. mentioned to make sure if it’s handmade it’s also something that person will use. This one can be tricky but hopefully the intentions aren’t lost in translation. PS if you don’t feel super handy you can also check out Etsy.com or local vendors for some pretty amazing handcrafted items. I treasure this necklace my sister got me in memory of our mom.

 

Meaningful gifts – When it’s clear you’ve taken the time to really think through gift giving this person’s “love tank” will be overflowing. One tip I’ve found is by peeking at Pinterest boards and other social media sites the gift getter is on to see what that person has been eying. In the past, I’ve also loved making gift giving a game, making a scavenger hunt or completing a puzzle to find the gift. Some people like Jennifer M. Don’t care what the gift is as long as it means something.

 

Themed gifts – Find a theme, whether it’s red for Valentine’s Day or smiley faces to brighten someone’s day, a theme can help you buy gifts when you’re not completely sure of what to get and be a fun gift to give.

 

Things to avoid:

  • giving gift cards unless you know the recipient REALLY wants gift cards
  • missing gift giving special event, especially birthdays and Christmas
  • generic gifts, Megan H says “like coffee mugs because I’ve been gifted so many”, also things like body wash sets, slippers, again unless you know that’s what they REALLY want
  • thinking they don’t like your gift when they receive lots, Hayley M says, “I often choose one gift (unintentionally) that is my favorite and over use it. I will make my way to the others at some point.

 

I’ll admit as an over thinker I often don’t even up giving gifts because I always second guess what I am getting. Will they like it? Is it what they want/need? Will they even care? I’ve come to the conclusion though that we can’t make everyone happy, however we can at least try and our intentions do matter. So please don’t second guess yourself when it comes to gift giving, the effort counts!

 

Is gifts one of your love languages or do you know someone who is? Leave us some tips in the comment area below!!

 

**I received product from Simply Personalized which I chose to write about, this is not a paid or sponsored post.