Holding On to Grief

February 24, 2017 No Comments »

I’m the type of person who holds on to everything.

My brain always says:

“Just in case…”

“You never know…”

“Better safe than sorry…”

I didn’t grow up with much, maybe that’s why. Hold on to things you may need.

I also hold on to other things. On both sides of my family growing up I saw grudges. Hold on to grudges.

I also saw a lot of people come and go, family members, people that I was close to. Hold on to people. 

Not liking conflict and having big feelings (as I now know I’m an HSP) Hold on to feelings. Bottling up emotions, especially the hard ones were what I became good at. At least until it was too much to contain, ending in tears, and frustration, just to start filling up the bottle again.

While I’ve learned a lot about myself and learning how to express my emotions I often continue to carry my own burdens. Hold on to burdens. You may be thinking we do need to carry our burdens, that’s often what my head tells me, but we have a God who died to carry those burdens, we have a God who tells us to allow people close to us to help us walk through those hard times.

Last night I was reminded that doing that to myself, making myself bear the grief of losing my mom and others grief, is my own pride. I know it sounds weird to think that taking that upon myself is pride, but really thinking about it, I feel like I’m the only one who understands it, the only one who can fix it. In reality, by holding onto it I’m not resolving anything, just letting it sit there.

I often forget or intentionally hold on to things I should be giving to God, whether it’s my day or burdens/worries that I carry. Can you relate? This is something I will probably always struggle with, but I think acknowledging that it’s something I need help with and trying to make a change is a good step in the right direction. This time I need to choose to Hold on to God’s promises.

Is there anything you are holding on to? Is this something you are willing to give to God or let others help you shoulder???

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